Official World Cup Excuse Note

All of this summer’s World Cup matches will be shown live in the United States on ABC and the ESPN networks. I know there are a lot of La Tri fanatics in the States, so this should come as welcome news. But wait–will The Man try and spoil your summer? How can you guarantee you’ll be able to watch all of the matches? Well, you can start laying the groundwork now for your mysterious afternoon virus that causes you to miss the p.m. hours every day for four weeks. If that’s too much of a hassle, I’ve written a note for you to give to your superiors.

Please clip and save for this summer.

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Dear Boss/Teacher/Warden (circle one):

Please excuse the bearer of this note, (your name here), from work/school/solitary confinement (circle one) from June 9, 2006 until July 9, 2006. Let me assure you that this absence is unrelated to the football World Cup which will take place in Germany at that time. And I know what you’re thinking: yes, football is soccer, but with less Capri Sun at halftime.

(Your name here) simply wants to thoughtfully pre-schedule this year’s family obligations/chicken pox/prison-riot-related injuries (circle one) ahead of time for efficiency’s sake. And anyway, everyone else will just be wasting time reading WorldCupBlog/shooting spitballs/digging escape tunnels (circle one) for you to notice their absence. It is in this vein that (your name here) hopes to return on July 10 tanned, rested and ready to win the employee of the month award/school spirit award/time off for good behavior (circle one).

If you have any questions, please contact me during your coffee break/recess/yard time (circle one).

Sincerely,
Ecuador Blog
c/o Trent